Making your Escort Date a Success

There was a tweet doing the rounds a few weeks back which detailed behaviours companions considered ‘red flags’ – and it was quite interesting to read! It occurred to me that there may be things you do – as a client – which your companion really does not appreciate or feel comfortable with, but you are blissfully unaware. You’re not doing it to be a menace, yet at the same time it offends. Well, because I am a helpful soul who likes to build long-lasting relationships with the gents of Lulu Black, I thought I would detail those potential things here.

1. Never ask your companion’s real name: it’s the most common faux pas we encounter. If she wants you to have it she will offer it. And personal questions about family and home life should be avoided.
   
2. Please do not tell your companion how to dress: a lingerie and heels request is, of course, absolutely fine (though she will come prepared with both already). It’s also fine to request ‘casual clothes’ for a home visit, or indeed to mention that she may like to check out the dress code of the venue you are taking her to when more formal wear is required. But asking your companion to turn up in very specific outerwear is always a no. If having your companion dressed in a certain way during your date is especially important, please buy the desired items in her size, checking in advance that they will work for her.
   
3. Don’t be a carpark hoverer: we’ve pulled up, we’re fixing our lippy, replying to a few messages and generally taking a few moments to defragment after a stressful drive. But wait, what’s that we spy in our peripheral vision? Oh it’s you, hovering by the side of the car. Though we realise you are trying to be welcoming, please do not do this. Our cars are our personal safe spaces. We do not want you looking inside them and seeing all of the crap we keep meaning to throw away, and we also don’t want to feel rushed leaving them. Please wait inside the venue and let us know where we can find you. Lobby or bar is absolutely perfect.
   
4. Meeting in the hotel room: thank you for letting us know you’re in room 1234. However, you didn’t attach any directions to the room or confirm that we can use the internal doors and lift without a keycard. Please always include this crucial info, it’s incredibly helpful.
   
5. Payment at the start: this applies even if meeting in a bar or restaurant. Please discreetly slip us the envelope so we can pop to the ladies and count. We never properly relax without the fee safely in our bag.
   
6. Discretion is paramount: we don’t want to hear in detail about your dates with other companions, as much as you may want to tell us about them. I am not talking about fleeting references, I mean detail, gossip, private stuff. The minute you talk in detail about another companion the penny drops: ‘oh, he’s going to talk about me too’. Disheartening. Let’s live in the moment and keep the topics of discussion to each other.
   
7. Tongues: a personal bugbear of mine. Never put your tongue into your companion’s mouth (or anywhere else on her face or person) without consent to do so. If you have cavities, plaque build up on your teeth or tongue, bad breath or are a heavy smoker, assume that deep kissing is off the cards. And never spit onto any part of your companion, nor onto your fingers to then touch your companion. We use lube for safety, comfort and hygiene. Spit is full of bacteria and is never an alternative.
   
8. Gentle handling of breasts & nipples: titties are beautiful creations that are not made to be squeezed or ragged around, no matter how much pornography suggests we enjoy it.
   
9. Fingers, like tongues, do not go anywhere without consent. Dirty or sharp fingernails can cause injuries and infections, as can poor technique.
   
10. Extra time: whether you want your companion to stay on longer at the end of the date, or you want to meet her tomorrow, next week, next month, ALL time must be paid for. If you invite a companion to spend time with you, even if it’s just social time, her fees apply. Please never omit to pay her.
    

I hope these tips help you forge successful and long-term relationships gentlemen – at this agency and elsewhere. The Lulu ladies are all absolutely wonderful humans who work really hard to make sure you have a fantastic time in their company. Do make it as stress free as possible for them, won’t you?

I haven’t listed cleanliness as I am pretty sure it is a given with you all. I very rarely get complaints about soap dodgers (praise the Lord). But nonetheless, the ladies are under strict instructions to reduce their services if you are anything but freshly showered and sparklingly clean, and this includes pulling your foreskin all the way back to clean around the head of your penis meticulously, with soap and hot water. Ignore this at your peril, because if you’re a dirty git, you can expect 2/3/4/5/6+ hours of scintillating conversation and nothing more.

Lulu xx